The End and the Beginning

Check-ins will be brief while we're on our 10-day trek around the island, but we wanted to send along a HUGE thank you to everyone who has written, blogged, posted, and, of course, attended the wedding! We know what a huge sacrifice it was for those who came from as far as California, and the more we tell Icelanders that we got 50 Americans to travel to their country (and spend their tourist dollars here!), the more amazed we are that it ever came together. So thanks, all. We love you.

Here is how it ended.

And here's how it began.

See you when we get home!

AWAY MESSAGE

We have officially departed for 
OUR WEDDING IN ICELAND.

We will update from abroad if our plane ever leaves New York.

Work Party!

DAYS REMAINING: 7

It takes a village to make "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," and we are lucky to know every one of these people. Thanks, guys!

Just a Post about Weather

DAYS REMAINING:9

And now, as boringly promised, your first look at the ten-day forecast.

Current wedding-day prediction: 55 degrees and mostly sunny I WILL TAKE IT.

Kulchuh!

 DAYS REMAINING: 11

Because we are awesome, the Rogge Wedding Group will be in Reykjavik for one of the biggest days of the year: Reykjavik Culture Night! What does that mean? I have no idea...the website is in Icelandic! But the day has a reputation for being incredibly fun...here is some proof in English!

Don't get used to this level of information. Starting in like one minute our wedding day appears on the weather.com ten-day forecast for Reykjavik and then I'll be obsessed with whether it's going to rain on the wedding day and NOTHING ELSE.

[Thanks to Aunt Mary Lynn for the links!]

Gnome Ain't Just a Town in Alaska

 
DAYS REMAINING: 13

Here's something to read!

even though i booked my ticket back at the end of march, it feels like my departure has kind of snuck up on me out of the blue

Yup. And here's a "To Do" list from favorite guest Vickie, who MIGHT be nervous about her Icelandic travel because it's overwhelming...OR it might be might due to her self-professed "fear of gnomes." This cannot be helping.

Couldn't be going to be a gnome-ier place. I'm SO sorry.

Barely Legal

DAYS REMAINING: 16

Speaking of "over 300 days ago," it is nearly impossible to believe that I ever wrote this and wondered how it was going to get done. Especially considering that a mere 342 days later, we received the following email from the ritari (secretary) of the Sýslumaðurinn í Reykjavík (District Commissioner of Reykjavik):

Our lawyers here have gone through your documents and they are okey. We just have to get the originals on the 15th of August. Then we also have to make copies of your passports.

And then from Bryndis:

When we meet you have to make sure you have the document from Sýslumadur í Reykjavik - Hjónavíglsuskýrsla.

I KNOW WHAT THAT IS AND THE LAWYERS SAY IT IS OKEY!

Totes married.

 

DAYS REMAINING: 17

It has been over 300 days since we put this news out there, and here comes very helpful news from Tara:

Everyone else coming to your wedding might already know this because they are smart and I am dumb, but you might want to share with your guests that they will need power adapters for their devices: http://goscandinavia.about.com/od/icelan1/f/eloutleticeland.htm

Things To Do In Iceland When You're... Wed?

View Rogge Wedding / Iceland 2011 in a larger map

Kid in the Suit

DAYS REMAINING: 28

Fanciest guest Quentin models his wedding suit / cover of his 70s rock album.Thanks to parents David and Miranda!

Candy Candy Candy I Can't Let You Go

At first, I didn't have time to update the blog because we were too busy planning the wedding to have time to talk about the wedding on the blog. But as plans continue to fall into place and only the endless, devilish details remain, I'm realizing that most of the reason I'm having trouble updating is because, as things get done, I realize I don't want to scoop the whole weekend by publishing revealing details about it in advance. If I told you I was convinced the reception was going to devolve into a frenzy of drunken karaoke at about 10pm, what would be left to the imagination when that...thing...totally happens?

So, instead, the story of something that isn't happening.

As part of our fancy gift bags that will be waiting for our guests upon their arrival at the hotel, we were planning on including a cute addition we discovered at the wedding of some friends a while back. They made personalized M&Ms, on which you can print anything you want...images, text, pictures of your cat. In their case, as I recollect, it was pictures of them, the happy couple, mixed with pictures of their cat. Or maybe it was just their cat. Either way, everyone loved them. It was all very adorable.

But when you're getting married in Iceland (which we are, or what a strange name for a blog!), sometimes you run into some strange, unexpected snags in planning, such as: not having the symbol for an "o"-with-a-strange-line-over-it-on-your-computer-keyboard (tricky when you're respectfully trying to compose an email to someone called "Haflið") or finding out that a bridge you're supposed to drive over on your honeymoon is closed due to a mystical family of trolls found living underneath it. In the Mysterious Case of the Unshippable M&Ms, the trouble this time was customs.

Back to our American-wed friends, who took their custom-made, cat-emblazoned M&Ms, stuffed them in some lovely organza (other secret perk of planning a wedding: finally learning what organza is!) bags, and drove them to Pennsylvania. It was a lovely wedding, to be sure, and when we started planning our own, Eric went straight to the M&Ms website and ordered silver and blue (how icy!) M&Ms with our grooms logo stamped right on them:

I know...awesome! With our names and the date on the back! You should see the logo on the M&Ms!

And, as it turns out, so should we. Because shortly after submitting our order, Eric received the following email back from M&Ms customer service:

Dear Valued Customer,

Thank you for your email. We appreciate your interest in MY M&M’s® and will be happy to assist you with your inquiry.

We regret to inform you that the country you requested a shipment to is one of several where customs laws and restrictions prohibit our product. This decision is not based from Mars Direct and is solely based on customs.

The countries that our products cannot be received include: Argentina, Andorra, Belgium, Brazil, China, Colombia, Cuba, Denmark, Dominican Republic, France, Germany, Guam, Iceland, India, Iran, Italy, Japan, Jordan, Korea, Lebanon, Libya, Macau, Mexico, Myanmar, North Korea, Philippines, Portugal, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Spain, Sudan, Syria, Taiwan, Thailand, Trinidad & Tobago, Turkey, UAE, Venezuela, and Vietnam.

Thank you again for your inquiry; we hope you find this information helpful and we look forward to assisting you in the future.

Sincerely,
Your friends at MY M&M’s®\Bonnie

Listen.

Bonnie.

Here's the deal. We decided not to have the M&Ms shipped here, because then we would still be bringing them into Iceland ourselves, which fazes me as alternately a) illegal and b) melty. But two boys decided not to get married in North Korea, Sudan, Syria, and Saudia Arabia for a reason (illegal, death-y), and our hope was that we could celebrate internationally with some American candy. Because Icelandic candy? It's salted licorice and something that tastes like Kix cereal covered in weird chocolate.

But then I took back my knock against Icelandic candy, because nothing -- NOTHING -- is better than what we ended up getting for our table favors. And for those, we just have to wait until we got to Iceland to pick them up.

Iceland: Equine Fashion Center of the World

I mean: http://twitpic.com/4nyp00

Low Bridge (Everybody Down)

From: Nordic Visitor
Date: Sat, Jul 10, 2011
Subject: Your upcoming trip to Iceland


You have probably seen that our volcanoes have been popular news items lately, but we can report that there are no volcanic eruptions happening at the moment.

However, we do want to update you about damage to Iceland’s major highway, the Ring Road (Route 1), in rural South Iceland. In the early hours of Saturday, July 9^th a flood from the nearby Mýrdalsjökull glacier washed away a bridge in the sparsely-populated Múlakvísl area.

We are happy to report that nobody was harmed. It is important to note that the Iceland Civil Protection Department has a good handle on natural events like these and is proficient in protecting the health and safety of the public. 

At this time, the Icelandic Meteorological Office is unable to confirm if sub-glacial volcanic activity caused the flooding, but they do not believe this is a sign of any imminent volcanic eruption. Also, there are no other indications of further flooding. Scientists will continue to monitor the situation closely.

Meanwhile, the Iceland Road Administration is evaluating the damage and has begun preparations for repairs. According to the latest reports, bridge repairs may take roughly two weeks so even if your itinerary takes you across the affected area it is unlikely that your holiday plans will be impacted. 

There is already a detour open to 4WD vehicles and it is estimated that the detour will soon be able to accommodate all vehicle types. 

As this situation may change, we will send you another update after the weekend with the latest status of the repairs and details about the detour.

You may be wondering what this means for your planned holiday around Iceland, so we have taken steps to assure minimal travel disruptions for our customers. See details below.

Money For Something

Comprehensive article about how/when/why to exchange your money abroad. We would definitely recommend calling your credit card/ATM company to make sure they won't turn your card off when you buy something in Iceland, leaving you cold and poor.

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Exchanging Your Money Abroad: 10 Simple Tips

One question I see a lot in the user forums here on Fodors.com is how best to get foreign currency when traveling abroad. When I first started traveling abroad, there were two basic choices: take and exchange cash or take and exchange traveler's checks. I usually did the latter. How times have changed. Now, anyone younger than 25 might look at me with a raised eyebrow if I mentioned a traveler's check. But the question still persists. With bank fees rising every year and exchange rates seemingly in constant flux, what's the best way to change your money? There are many threads on this subject in our user forums. Here are some simple rules to follow.

Ten Simple Rules for Exchanging Your Money




1. ATMs are still the best choice for day-to-day funds.

Although some banks have high fees to use foreign ATMs, not to mention adding on high foreign-transaction fees (Bank of America, for example, charges $5 per withdrawal plus 3% premium on top of each withdrawal at a non-partner ATM), the ATM is still almost always the cheapest option for changing your money. And if your bank has international ATMs or partner banks abroad, you can sometimes save a little on your cash withdrawals; that's true even at BOA, which charges just 1% at member banks and no other fees. Capitol One Bank charges nothing for a foreign ATM withdrawal, while other banks such as Chase charge 3% on top of every withdrawal as well as a $3 fee. It pays to shop around for a bank if you travel a lot internationally.

2. "No-fee" bureau de change are usually the most expensive places to change money.

When you see a sign that offers "no-fee" currency exchange, be sure to check the rates. You'll notice that they are almost always significantly worse than what you'd get if you had simply taken money out of an ATM. It's a good idea to keep up to date on the latest Interbank rates (the rates banks pay for foreign currency) to find out if you are getting a good deal. A web site like www.xe.com can give you those rates, which change daily. At best, you normally pay between 4% and 9% of the total amount you are exchanging to change money into a foreign currency, and this cost is usually built into the bad exchange rate. You pay again to change your euros or pounds back into dollars, so think carefully how much cash you actually need on a day to day basis.

3. If you need a lot of cash, ask your bank to raise your daily withdrawal limit.

Say you are renting an apartment for a week in Rome or Paris and you need a lot of euros at once to pay the landlord, your bank may be able to raise your daily withdrawal limit temporarily to allow you to withdraw much more money than you would normally be allowed to take out. ATMs may have smaller withdrawal limits, but you can make multiple withdrawals from the same ATM or from several ATMs in that case. If you can't get enough cash to pay for a week in advance, perhaps your landlord will allow you to pay in several installments throughout your stay. If you have a traveling companion, you can both withdraw cash to make the initial payment.

4. Never take a cash advance on your credit card except in a dire emergency.

If you take cash from a foreign ATM, you will pay a fee; you'll be charged a percentage on top of your withdrawal as a foreign-transaction charge; and you will start to pay very high interest (sometimes up to double the regular interest rate you are charged on your credit card) the moment the cash reaches your hands. It's a pretty bad deal. Avoid it at all costs unless you have no other choice. Bank of America has pretty egregious fees, as posters in our forums have found.

5. Use credit cards for large purchases.

Most credit cards charge a foreign-transaction fee of between 1% and 3% whenever you buy something abroad, but this is still the safest and often the cheapest way to make a large purchase. You'll almost always come out ahead on the conversion since credit cards add their fee on top of the Interbank rate. So you are almost always getting the best possible rate of exchange even though you are paying a fee. (And some banks, like Capital One, still do not charge anything extra for foreign purchases beyond the 1% that Visa and Mastercard charge; some credit unions also have very low fees, though membership in credit unions is usually limited.) Other banks, including Citibank, really gouge consumers by charge a 3% foreign-transaction fee even if the purchase is made in U.S. dollars.

6. Avoid dynamic currency conversion.

If you are ever given the opportunity to charge your purchase abroad in U.S. dollars, decline. In fact, you should insist that you be charged in the local currency. So-called dynamic currency conversion not only offers lousy exchange rates, but it also includes hidden fees, and your own credit card will charge you its own foreign-transaction fee on top of the cost of the purchase. In effect, you will be paying double the fees and getting a bad exchange to boot. You might pay a 10% premium for a purchase. Here is one discussion of the process from our forums. Just remember, you are always charged a foreign-transaction fee by your credit card company (if it charges such fees) whether your purchase is made in dollars or foreign currency.

7. Don't make purchases with your debit card abroad.

It's very simple. Use your debit/ATM card to make cash withdrawals. Don't use it to make purchases. If something goes awry, your account will be debited immediately for the purchase; even if you return something for a refund, your account may not be credited for several days (perhaps for more than a week if the purchase is made abroad). If a sales clerk makes a mistake, it could take several days for an erroneous charge to be credited back to your account. With a credit card, you might never notice that a particular charge has appeared and disappeared because it will never show up on your statement. But it's different with a bank account. The money actually disappears and may not come back for several days even if it's an error or even if a transaction is cancelled. You might need that cash in the meantime.

8. The Chip-and-PIN situation in Europe.

Most European countries now offer credit and debit cards with a computer chip that requires a PIN to activate and make a purchase. This is especially common in automated ticket machines in Europe, even on European toll roads. If your credit or debit card doesn't have a chip and PIN (hardly any U.S. credit or debit cards do), then you may not be able to buy a ticket from a machine with your card. Although both Visa and Mastercard promise U.S. cardholders that their cards are usable anywhere in the world where they should be accepted with just a signature, you may still have some occasional problems in Europe using your card. Posters in our user forums have discussed this issue here. The subject was also covered earlier this year on SmarterTravel.com.

9. Traveler's Checks are a good fallback in an emergency.

Although the predominance of ATMs has made some people feel that the simple traveler's check is a relic of a bygone era, it can still be a godsend in an emergency. It's true that few places in the world still accept traveler's checks as payment. Normally, you must change them in a bank and will be charged a hefty fee for the privilege (though in some destinations like Mexico, it can be difficult to find a bank that will exchange your traveler's checks). But if you can buy your traveler's checks without paying a fee, they are a good fallback as an emergency stash of cash. And if you have American Express checks, they can still be cashed in an Amex office abroad. While these aren't as prevalent as they once were, they are still found all over Europe and in many other countries.

10. A Ben Franklin is also a great emergency reserve.

A crisp, new US$100 bill is also a good fallback as an emergency reserve of cash. While I would not travel abroad with a big stack of cash, having a single $100 bill somewhere separate from your other travel money is a great idea. Even if you lose substantially on the currency exchange, it's a currency that's accepted worldwide.

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Iceland Express Yourself

We've only been neglecting the blog because we are officially too busy planning the wedding to have time to say anything about it, but it seemed worth passing along this hot Icelandic gossip for those of you who still haven’t booked air travel (even though, to my knowledge, that list actually only includes one person). But friend/guest/favorite human Emily passed along the following, which I’m passing along as well:

I've been watching the Reykjavik-NYC plane tickets like a miserly hawk, and Iceland Express just dropped their prices like $70. Hopefully because it's a great sale and not because they're in the middle of a PR nightmare I didn't hear about yet. So if anyone else hasn't bought their tickets to/from your wedding, they should probably do it now.

Happy almost wedding!!

Meanwhile, on the surface of the moon...

DAYS REMAINING: 62

Here are two interesting perspectives on the Ring Road around the entire island: the scary and the even more scary.


(For anyone still interested in a post-wedding road trip, you can check out the tour we're taking or just plan your own road trip, as some have decided to do.)

(Thanks to Meesh for the links!)

Fairy Tale 2: Rise of the Fairies

DAYS REMAINING: 69

It is now 69 days until our wedding and, at the moment, there remains a distinctive lack of helpful elves and task-aware dwarves planning it for us while Eric and I have been spending twelve hours a day at work. Luckily, I have one more week at my current job before a luxurious two-week break, during which time I have a “to do” list consisting of exactly one item: PLAN THE ENTIRE WEDDING. Within that one item lies about a billion terrifying details.

Back when we sent out our invitations (what seems like 100 years ago), we kept falling back on a reassuring stump speech that went something like, “At least we got one huge thing out of the way. Think about all of the people who haven’t even started planning ANYTHING at this point in the process!” But as the months have peeled montage-style off of the calendar, we have run out of excuses, and are getting perilously close to running out of time. And so this morning, we returned to the only actual place we can get anything done – our old friends at Fairytale Affairs – for the next stage of the planning. Because any great Icelandic event must run first through Massapequa Park. You think the 10th Century Norse explorers who discovered the place didn’t first stop at All-American? You’re wrong.

First a reminder about this business: Fairytale Affairs is a stone’s throw from my mom’s house on Long Island, smack in the middle of a town not know for its stark liberalism or cultural acceptance. My mom had worked with Tracey on invitations for events such as my grandmother’s birthday party, and approached her with skepticism many months back to make sure “it would be okay” for the store to take on the lightning rod issue of printing wedding invitations that had TWO BOYS’ NAMES ON THEM. Tracey laughed that idea right off because she is a nice person and a hell of a pro as a businessperson, and has since added our gorgeous invitations to her stable of samples she shows her other clients. Yay, Fairytale Affairs! You should all support local businesses who know what side their bread is buttered on, is all I’m saying.

For today’s excitement, programs for the wedding ceremony. We wanted a simple design with the straightforward information of the ceremony (if only we know exactly what those details were going to be!), and that is exactly what we designed. We briefly thought about not doing programs for the ceremony, but, y’know, people are coming all this way, why not give them a little keepsake they can leave in their hotel rooms or tuck in a mail sorter when they get home and then throw away when they move to New Jersey? And we’re having it bound together with a ribbon! You fly to Iceland, you get a ribbon. It’s just polite party hosting is all.

So now we were on a roll. Tracey is definitely not an upseller in the standard “let me help get you guys into this 1987 Datsun that runs just like new” way, but once the programs were done, the three of us collective started poking around for what other visual elements were going to help tie the look of the day together. And right then, the words “Well, I guess that’s it, then…” collectively vanished from our vocabulary. Place cards! Monogrammed napkins! (Yes, really.) Specially-designed gift bags for our welcome packages! (Yes. Really.)

In the end, the best part of the day was starting to get really excited about the plans for the wedding again. Which is good. Because now that we crossed one thing off of our list, all we have to take care of is shuttleinformationfromairporttoguestswelcomepackageathotelfinalheadcountforrehearsaldinnerchoosemenusendinvitestorehearsaldinnerarrangeshuttletoandfromrehearsaldinnerfromhotelgetalllegalpaperworktogethercheckinwithBryndiswriteceremonychoosesongsbuysuitsfinalizeheadcountseatingchartflowerstablecenterpiececakeaskaboutsoundsystemforipodfigureoutfavorspoolpaymentarrange shuttletofrompool. Oh, and figuring out day care for the cats while we’re out of town for three weeks.

And that’s it!

The Ring Didn't Mean A Thing

DAYS REMAINING: 101

When Eric and I got engaged, I bought two titanium rings and proposed to him at the restaurant where we celebrated our anniversary every year in LA. I wanted it to be a complete surprise so I guessed at Eric’s ring size, going for the average men’s size of 9. It turned out to be way too big, so I exchanged it for a size smaller, convinced that getting a new ring without getting his finger sized this time was a totally great idea. Size 8? Not even close. So because his ring still falls off every time he swings his hand or walks or thinks small thoughts, I decided that for our actual wedding rings we would do it right. We would go to a real store, talk to a real human, and get our actual ring sizes. And if you’re going to do it right, you should do it as right as you can. So we took ourselves to Tiffany.

We’re not actually getting our rings at Tiffany. But it was fun to waltz right in there, tell the nice lady at the counter that we were getting married in August, and have her show us to a table where she sized our fingers with this thing…

 …showed us their collection of hilariously expensive gold bands, and sent us on our way.

(Eric’s ring size is 6.5.)

More Budget Accommodation!

DAYS REMAINING: 102

 Further to our entry about non-hotel lodgings we wanted to add one more from Tracie:

Hi guys! So we've finally settled our lodging situation and are actually staying here.
It's located about midway between the Grand and the city center, which seemed to make sense. I hope Anna forgives me. Anyway, come over! We'll cook you dinner.

IS YOUR PASSPORT PICTURE THIS ADORABLE?

DAYS REMAINING: 129

Nephew Everett smiles for his close-up and dreams of international adventure.

And We're Getting MARRIED

DAYS REMAINING: 137

 

Gay Stuff!

DAYS REMAINING: 141

 If you're looking for another travel option and you remember that you're flying all the way to Iceland for a GAY WEDDING (rather than what we're framing it as: the wedding of your nice friends who are just like everybody else blah blah blah), here's a travel company who found us: Pink Iceland.

Here's their pitch:

Iceland is a great destination for LGBT travelers because of the gay friendly atmosphere. Our goal is to make your stay in Iceland as wonderful and welcoming as possible. We offer an array of services from booking short tours around Reykjavík to all-inclusive luxury excursions around the country. We also organize events with local and international LGBT groups. Our partners are either gay owned, gay operated or gay friendly and with a great cooperation of this Icelandic velvet mafia we hope to make your stay unforgettable.

They also run a bar/cafe in Reykjavik called Truno, and I'm trying to decide how to have a party of some kind there, because...fun!

Mi Casa Es Su Casa, and other casas as well

DAYS REMAINING: 144

When we get married, you should totally stay at the hotel! Unless, y'know, you don't.

People have been sending in all sorts of great places you can stay around town, from Reykjavik Backpackers, where in the middle of summer you can get a room (with seven of your closest new friends) for under $30/night. 

Then there's The House of the Spirits, about which Vickie reports: "They've got several studios (14 in total, i think?), and then a few two-room and three-room units. the larger units accommodate families or multiple guests (in case you have, like, four friends who all want to split a place). The prices are all really reasonable. And it's even run by a gay couple."

Extremely Helpful Vickie also reports: "FYI, one tier up (price-wise) are the luna apartments, which are also highly rated on tripadvisor. their studios are 98 euro/night, and they have larger apartments, as well.

Do, I Say DO Go Chasing Waterfalls!

DAYS REMAINING: 159

 
A cool 552 kilometers (or, um, eesh -- eight miles?) from the Grand Hotel is Europe's (yes, stop it, Iceland IS in Europe) biggest waterfall. Should you decide to just stay in the country for a while or forever, this is one of the premiere nature-y destinations you can't find anywhere else. I'm pretty sure we'll be stopping there on the honeymoon, so if you decide to come with us we'll all go cliff-diving. I mean "waterfall staring."

(Compliments of Meesh.)

Q&A

DAYS REMAINING: 164 (golly, I hope that's right)

Wow.

Since I sent out an email to our confirmed guests a couple of days ago, I have been barraged with some questions that I've gotten from multiple people. So I put together a little Wedding FAQ to help everyone...know stuff. Here we go:

So when are YOU guys getting there?
Eric and I are arriving in Reykjavik the Monday prior to the wedding because we have to file some official paperwork with the government of a country that will actually let us get married. So we'll be there starting on 8/15. We're staying at the hotel the whole time, and would love all of the play friends we can get.

What can I do in Reykjavik if I get there early?
If you're in Reykjavik for more than a couple of days, there are about a million billion day trips around town. Personally, I love the actual city and could just hang out there drinking great coffee for days, but if you're looking for specific day trips outside of the city, check out the website for Reykjavik Excursions, a very popular tour company that takes you everywhere.

But I want to see glaciers! And nature! And northern lights!
Well, then, I must most HIGHLY recommend the honeymoon Eric and I are going on. Here, read this: http://ourweddinginiceland.blogspot.com/2010/11/honeymoon-with-everyone.html. Yes. We are going with Eric's family on a driving trip around the entire island. But you can customize a trip to your liking, and there are different packages that include different lengths and tiers of fanciness. But if you're looking for the northern lights...you need to go there in December.

Do I need to rent a car if I'm just staying in the city?
No, no, no...a thousand times no! Or, as they say in Icelandic, no with a line through the "o." The actual city centre is quite small and walkable, and the hotel is about a fifteen minute walk from that centre. There is also a pretty sweet public transit system in the city, as well as shuttles from the hotel into town.

Is Iceland really big enough for planes to land on?
Seriously, mom? Seriously?

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What is this site? Where am I?
Or start at the beginning.

To-Do...Almost Everything

DAYS REMAINING: 187

And suddenly, quite out of nowhere, there’s actually quite a bit to do.

With the wedding falling six months from next Saturday, we have taken care of quite a lot: the invitations went out three months ago, the space is booked, the room rate secured. Even the honeymoon is paid for.

But there are a lot of small, time-consuming things we need to figure out. Heck, even the DAYS REMAINING counter at the top of each entry takes, like, a half hour to figure out every time I go a month without posting.

And then there are the things it’s impossible to do until something else is done before it. First thing on the agenda: nailing down a headcount. This week is all about getting the final tally from people we haven’t heard from yet. And for our guests, that leads to some major thinking of their own: can I make it? Can I afford it? Can I bring my one month old? Can I somehow NOT bring my one month old? And, the most terrifying question we've been asked, which happened once yesterday: "What happens if I never got my invitation?" Ooooooh...dear.

And, y’know, we live on this planet, too…I totally know what a tough bit of planning this particular event can be. But once we have that number firmly nailed down, we can move ahead with the following:

*Choosing the menu
*Filling out the actual license paperwork to make sure we’re actually, legally married
*Writing our vows what WHAT?
*Something something cake
*Figuring out if we’ll lose all of our friends if we try and get a wedding announcement into the New York Times. WHY CAN’T WE JUST BE FANCY ONCE IN OUR LIVES?

Just Married!

DAYS REMAINING: 219

This past Monday, Eric and I got married.

Wait wait! You still have to come to Iceland. Sorry. It’s just how it is.

When Eric and I first got together five years ago, the planet provided even less of a clear path to matrimony for same-sex couples than it does now. The number of states offering domestic partnerships were fewer, and the number of countries offering full marriage equality was comparably non-existent. So back in the dark ages of 2006, we started our relationship by structuring it according to the resources we had available at the time; unsure if marriage was in the cards for us, our progression as a couple was somewhat more incremental. Because when it came to us, what constituted marriage? Co-habitation? Legally changing my last name to Eric’s? The two of us holding the cat down twice a day to give him medicine so that he would one day stop requiring a cone so that he didn’t scratch his face off anymore? Because the responsibility incurred by that last one sure feels a heck of a lot like marriage to me.

When we moved to New York, Eric got a job that provided him membership in the Editors Union. My job as a producer doesn’t allow any such union protection, and for that reason my health insurance premiums have skyrocketed to over $15,000 a year, just for myself. With Eric in a union, he would be provided employer-based health insurance, a benefit that extends to husbands, wives, and, in New York, domestic partners.

So this past Monday morning, we marched on down to the federal building in lower Manhattan and finalized our domestic partnership. We are now 100% as married as a couple can be under the laws of the state of New York. Had we bought each other flowers, it would have been like the DMV with flowers. Except we needed fewer forms of ID to get married than we did to get New York drivers licenses.

But I don’t want to imply that this latest arrangement was just for the insurance. I think it’s another important step in the long evolution of our relationship, the next step of which will be the actual wedding. And if I get to go to the doctor for free once or twice because my union man has been keeping up on his union dues, well, I’ll take it.