Wait wait! You still have to come to Iceland. Sorry. It’s just how it is.
When Eric and I first got together five years ago, the planet provided even less of a clear path to matrimony for same-sex couples than it does now. The number of states offering domestic partnerships were fewer, and the number of countries offering full marriage equality was comparably non-existent. So back in the dark ages of 2006, we started our relationship by structuring it according to the resources we had available at the time; unsure if marriage was in the cards for us, our progression as a couple was somewhat more incremental. Because when it came to us, what constituted marriage? Co-habitation? Legally changing my last name to Eric’s? The two of us holding the cat down twice a day to give him medicine so that he would one day stop requiring a cone so that he didn’t scratch his face off anymore? Because the responsibility incurred by that last one sure feels a heck of a lot like marriage to me.
When we moved to New York, Eric got a job that provided him membership in the Editors Union. My job as a producer doesn’t allow any such union protection, and for that reason my health insurance premiums have skyrocketed to over $15,000 a year, just for myself. With Eric in a union, he would be provided employer-based health insurance, a benefit that extends to husbands, wives, and, in New York, domestic partners.
So this past Monday morning, we marched on down to the federal building in lower Manhattan and finalized our domestic partnership. We are now 100% as married as a couple can be under the laws of the state of New York. Had we bought each other flowers, it would have been like the DMV with flowers. Except we needed fewer forms of ID to get married than we did to get New York drivers licenses.
But I don’t want to imply that this latest arrangement was just for the insurance. I think it’s another important step in the long evolution of our relationship, the next step of which will be the actual wedding. And if I get to go to the doctor for free once or twice because my union man has been keeping up on his union dues, well, I’ll take it.
