Order in the Courthouse

DAYS REMAINING: 358

Our dream scenario for the actual ceremony: take all of our guests to the Reykjavik courthouse and have the whole ceremony there. Can we do this? Is it big enough? As yet, we have no idea.

But what’s that? What’s that you say? You say that YOU TOO want to get married at the courthouse in Reykjavik? And you are either a straight couple OR a gay couple? Well, have I got the website for you. This one!

(And to all you straight couples out there, I just want you to know that I TOTALLY SUPPORT your right to marriage equality! And that is awfully big of me to say, because when I think about what goes on between you people behind closed doors, I just feel that Ick Factor. Ew. I'm thinking about it right now. Shudder.)

Aaaaaaaaaanyway, now you know how to get married in Iceland. Let’s take a closer look at the documents you’ll need.

1. Hjónavígsluskýrsla - Oh, crap, I’m lost already. Is that Icelandic for “Cool Ranch Doritos”? Because those I have.

2. Birth certificate - That we have too! We are two-sevenths married already! But the presentation of this particular document does give rise to another one of my insecurities. That being, the nation of Iceland will have no problem with the fact that we’re both boys, but then they’ll look at our birth certificates and be all, “Yeah, I’m afraid it’s come to our attention that you are seven years older than Eric. Therefore, you are a pervert.” Marriage fail.

3. Certificate of marital status - This might be my favorite passage on the entire site: “Some countries do not issue a certificate of marital status. If that is the case in the country of either partners, a declaration of honour is required, issued by the bride/groom stating that she/he is not married.” Hmmmm. I have a partner. I have a birth certificate. I THINK I even have a Hjónavígsluskýrsla or two lying around here someplace. What I do not have is any high-class, British-y, sarcastically uppity extra letter “honour,” and I’m not sure Eric is going to give me one.

4. A divorce decree if bride/groom is divorced - Nothing to worry about here. Divorce? Oh, no, not in this country. See, everyone in America is trying to protect the notion of “traditional marriage,” so surely none of those people would ever be so hypocritical as to get a divorce. I mean, that would be ludicrous!

5. An official document if bride/groom is a widow/widower - Eh. Bummer. No joke.

6. Legal stay in Iceland - This actually means “show us your stamp in your passport.” What a country!

7. Passport - We’ll definitely need a passport. It has a stamp that says I’m allowed to get married in Iceland.

You may now kiss the groom! Or bride. Ick.