I'm going to let Eric handle today's entry. Link is here. Reprinting below. He smart boy.
Your opinion is stupid
One of the most important lessons I have ever learned in my adult life is knowing when my opinion doesn't matter. Everyone is entitled to an opinion about anything in the world, but that doesn't mean it's important or useful to anyone else. A lot of the time, opinions are interesting and useful and entertaining, but sometimes it's a small but crucial decision to keep your mouth shut and remember that you're playing a supporting role in everyone's life except your own.
By the same token, it's also nice to realize when someone is being mean to you that their opinion doesn't really matter. Like the time I was walking down 28th Street and someone rolled down their car window just to scream at me, "GET A BETTER SHIRT!!" That actually happened, and the shirt I was wearing was brand new and didn't even have a design on it. This person must have been disappointed that I wasn't expressing myself enough. You know what? Their problem, not mine.
As it turns out, my feelings are not easily hurt. When we were kids, we used to rip into my dad about his corny jokes, his dorky music, and his weird habits, but he would always shrug and say, "Nobody's perfect!" or "Who cares?" (We were SUCH assholes. And now I make the same jokes, listen to the same music, have the same habits, and think my dad is the coolest guy on earth.) Now I do the same thing when someone has a problem with me for a stupid reason. Who cares? What's your problem?
And the stupidest reason of all for someone to have a problem with me -- the fact that I'm gay, which is such an insignificant fact all by itself that I feel dumb even writing it out -- somehow remains a topic of national debate. This is not something I think about when I leave the apartment I share with my boyfriend, and participate in the world consisting of my work life, my social life, my family life, and everything in between. But there is an edge of anxiety, even in a major city, because we are raised to expect something bad to happen if people know that you are gay.
Nothing like that has ever happened to me, but it does happen every single day and the consequences include five dead teenagers in the last month. Four men beaten and tortured in the Bronx last week. It is not easy to hurt my feelings but it's impossible not to be devastated by the reality that I live in a society where this is the daily news side by side with Carl Paladino stating that gay citizens are not "equally valid" or John McCain supporting "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" because it's totally cool for soldiers to put their lives on the line to protect American freedom as long as they stay in the fucking closet.
You don't think I should be legally allowed to marry my partner? When we've built a home together and spend holidays with our families and pay our taxes and plan to have children of our own one day? We're a hell of a lot more traditional than millions of households across America, but that's not even the point -- this is not a political issue. These are mean, judgmental opinions that grown adults should know to keep to themselves. The law banning same-sex marriage does not help or protect ANYONE. Some people might sleep better at night because it will help them imagine that they live in a world without homos, but does anyone really think that's going to happen?
Seriously, we're here, we're queer, get used to it. Your opinion on my relationship does not affect its validity. And if you don't agree, guess what? YOUR OPINION IS FUCKING STUPID. You're completely entitled to it, because I can't tell you what to think, but trust and believe, your opinion is so fucking stupid. I'm sure you think my family is terrible, but I know that it is not. Isn't it okay for us to disagree about that without making laws taking away each other's rights?
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